joreth (joreth) wrote,
joreth
joreth

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How To Get A Girl To Talk To You

Something that the online losers that I keep posting about haven't seemed to figure out is that a unique compliment that shows creativity and that says you've been paying attention to who the recipient is will go much farther towards flattering the recipient than a generic over-used pickup line.

While it is nice to hear someone *I care about* call me beautiful or sexy or pretty eyes, the compliments that have much more meaning to me are those that tell me that you've been paying attention to who I am and you are complimenting me on something that is uniquely *me*. Now, for some girls, that will be a compliment on their appearance, but a specific compliment like "your hair looks as soft as golden silk" or "your eyes are the blue of a winter lake that sparkles with ice crystals" says you at least know what her hair and eye color are. When you say something generic like "hey sexy", you could be talking to anyone. And because it's so over-used, especially as a pickup line here online, it implies that you're trying to butter someone up to get her to be willing to "hookup" with you and there's nothing to imply you actually mean it.  It doesn't sound sincere.

I hear all the time how guys never get responses to their profiles or emails in online dating sites, but girls get flooded with contacts. I'm betting that if ya'll changed your approach, you will find better luck, whether you're interested in the cheap hookups or the long-term relationships. You need to do something to stand out from all the generic assholes we get flooded with in any online dating site. Try READING her profile and then picking something out that she says specifically and commenting on it. It should be assumed that courteous and complimentary comments will have the desired effect of getting her to want to talk to you, but based on some of the responses I get, this is clearly not a common assumption. Starting out your correspondence with advice on how she should do something different is probably not the best approach either. She's likely to get offended. If you didn't like her profile, why bother responding at all?

So, regardless of what your goal is for the contact, whether you want easy sex or a life-time spouse, or anything in between, do both of you a favor and READ THE PROFILE. You will save yourself the time and energy by weeding out those girls who aren't likely to meet your goal no matter what pickup line you use, and you will find the material you need to tailor a unique compliment that will help you further that goal - by getting her to want to talk to you at all.

I keep a list of my favorite compliments on my website in the About Me section, but I just received another one that I will add to that list, and I liked it enough that I wanted to share it, and the other cool compliments I have gotten over the years.
  • "You look like you're a tactical unit" - given while stopped on the side of the road after work one day changing my blown-out tire. Yes, he said I looked like a tactical unit ... a whole unit.  And he worked for the Sherrif's department.
  • "You're like a little ninja!" - received while at work, all in black, running around, lifting things I don't look like I could lift like 20 foot pipe with drape still attached.
  • "You are so treacherously delicious"
  • "She is an alpha but doesn't play dominance games. She doesn't have to be the ONLY alpha in the room, but she makes it very clear that she's an alpha" - a friend of a friend's description of me after first meeting me, told to said mutual friend.
  • "You remind me of a strange cross between an Ayn Rand hero and a Heinlein hero, with a rather large dose of cowgirl. Strange, but it works. Or something" - someone's description of me on an online dating site after a couple of traded emails.
You can see that NONE of these compliments that made the list of My Favorite Compliments have anything to do with being "pretty", "sexy", "hot", or "beautiful". They are my favorite because they say something about who I am that have to do with those parts of me that I value the most.

So read the profile and find out what she values about herself. If she is interested in the type of relationship you want from her, then compliment that which she values about herself in a specific, individual, and creative way. The majority of you will find better luck in your initial response time

Just a Public Service Announcement.  I now return you to your regularly scheduled LiveJournaling.

Tags: me manual, online skeezballs, rants
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